By Reza Ganjavi
My comment about X's post about Y going skiing (which is wonderful...) was only to communicate that I try to keep my FB traffic low and I tend to be even less active on posts which have access set to public (vs. "friends only") because as y'all may know, when a post's access is public and someone comments on it all the commenter's friends are notified, whereas when a post is "friends only" then only mutual friends are notified.
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I read much more than I comment or "like". So in general I'm VERY quiet on FB compared to others who are constantly posting - multiple times a day -- those are surely not on my "close friends" list because even if real life's close friends post too much I take them off that list because I already spend too much time on internet.
The rest of the 5000 FB friends are on the general list and I click on that from time to time but not often. It's easy to lose many hours in front of FB reading so many interesting things but I try to connect more with people in real life - preferably in person - or on the phone or video...
As is, relationship is a challenge and often bogged by image-making, which is a dominant process in the human mind, out of habit... Practical image making is important for efficient working of the mind, but when it comes to many relationship subjects images are just barriers to perception vs. totally perceiving the other person in the moment.
Now taking that to the electronic realm, it becomes much more challenging, and that's why so many relationships are ruined by social media. I heard horror stories about that before I joined Facebook, and vowed to never take it too seriously or get worked up about it. I have friends, real friends I mean, who are so uptight about their Facebook lives, "Why did this person like somebody else's post and not mine?", "Why did so-and-so become friends without me knowing?", "Why didn't you Like my post?" and a whole stream of image-making and assumptions which might not be real, and the chances of them happening in real life is much less because direct contact eliminates many understandings.
I am a big believer in the power of communication and understanding. Understanding brings its own change.
Love,
Reza