Reza Ganjavi
September 3, 2016
Two people meet... they become friends in the truest sense... they travel together... they cook together... they sing, walk, laugh together... they explore many in-depth questions of life, their minds make love in the bed of understanding, their hearts unite in universal love, and the friendship grows.
Then someday someone else comes along. Tradition says you have to throw the friend away like an old shoe because tradition has one thing in mind: (a false sense of) security -- and that friend, could pose risk to the new male animal as per Evolutionary Psychology's observations of animal societies that are close to humans. The new male in the animal society feels threatened because if the female gets pregnant, he wants to only support his own genes and not those of another male. In human terms this is inapplicable, but still, human relationships are defined by tradition, based on those animalistic habits.
I'm sure the same happens from the female animal side... when a new female comes into the picture, she gets jealous because she doesn't want the male to spend his economics on that female's babies but on hers. I know many cases of both these scenarios in human relationships. Too many. And it's sad indeed. What about all that love and singing and conversation and walks and healing and laughter and so on? Puffed out the window? Sold on eBay for a penny?
We can be more than animals by being aware of the animalistic conditionings and questioning those dictates that have defined our institutions. Awareness itself brings freedom. I am totally in support of and respect families. But families that work, and we all know there are many that don't work, for reasons including some of what's discussed above. I am not for promiscuity, which is sleeping around irresponsibly. I respect my body and am very careful about who it mixes with. I try not to shake hands with smokers, for example. I've learned that energetic pollution is very real (sleeping with a smoker for example brings just as much bad luck as smoking itself).
Friendship is the cake. Everything else is the icing on the cake. People are not cars or cows to be possessed. But many operate as such because society has prescribed that way of being, which is corrupt: Owning a person is no different than slavery -- we can put lipstick on it but it's still a pig. Universal love knows no ownership. "Imagine no possessions" -- yes, food, clothes, and shelter we need. But possessing others?
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Valerie Lydie Kemp: Fabulous thank you :)
Hrishabh Singh: Wow! I have always hated the societal norms when it came to relationships and marriage. I have also wondered if the fear of death manifests itself as the central notion that marriage and so-called 'love' are supremely crucial in a human's life. So my own thoughts on the matter of modern human relationships echo what you have said. You have voiced your feelings and observations in a truly extraordinary way Reza uncle!
Reza Ganjavi: Thank you Hrishabhji. You make an interesting point. Desire for continuity... desire for certainty... desire to last while everything we know and experience is temporal...
Reza Ganjavi: Marjon jaan, if you want to stop smoking and find it hard, this article might help...(www.rezamusic.com under the health section: Effective Approach To Quitting Smoking. Tips on how to stop smoking, by Reza Ganjavi)
Marjan Nourzad: Thanks Reza jan! Not there yet but someday I will.
Reza Ganjavi: No no no -- that's a HUGE trap. psychological time. I discuss it in that article. Someday is an illusion - a trick to be left alone with the addiction.
Reza Ganjavi: Forcing it, fighting it, makes it stronger because it makes you weaker since conflict is a loss of energy.